you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
worst night to have a conscience
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
