i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
