last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
