I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can you bring me the toilet please
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
