The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
