There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
