so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
BRING THE BAGELS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
