Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
