why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
