I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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