Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
