im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
