do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
