She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
