No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
