oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
