Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
