she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
