I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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