You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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