it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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