He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
