I don't usually arrange sex via text message
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
