Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
