you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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