Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
