I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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