"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
