You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
