well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
