i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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