Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

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(619): View more from California

i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out

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(850): View more from Florida

how was your day?

(404): View more from Georgia

fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?

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(419): View more from Ohio

My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.

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(631): View more from New York

He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night

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(904): View more from Florida

There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?

(435): View more from Utah

Yeah.

(609): View more from New Jersey

I was spiderman.

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