I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
