i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
