I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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