a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
