hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You pole danced in your parka.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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