Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
