Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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