I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
