Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
