Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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