he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
