sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you traded sex for a burrito?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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