I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
