yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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