Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We're too hungover to prance.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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