Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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