if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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