He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
