At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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